I’ve finished 2 weeks of my Computer Science degree on my own
Expectations vs reality, support and self-doubt.
Two weeks ago I decided that I want to do a Computer Science degree online by myself.
I am 17, currently in my gap year, and since I used to like coding lessons in school, I’ve decided to master this skill.
To start, I’ve chosen 3 classes — CS50 by Harvard (Introduction to Computer Science), Crash Course (animated introduction course) and Precalculus (to refresh my math and learn the terminology in English).
I joined discord services with people who do something similar, I’ve watched every YouTube video I could find about teaching yourself, and… STARTED.
The first week went perfectly.
I practised every day, spending approximately 3 hours per day. It was cool. I posted some tik-toks about starting the journey and even asked friends to share it.
The problems started occurring a week later.
I was super stuck with finishing the second problem set, the ideas for videos were gone and I started going to german courses for 25 hours per week. Not to mention the World Cup.
Even though I still wanted to go on this journey, I was too distracted. Here is where the self-doubt and the imposter syndrome joined the chat.
I stopped posting on tik-tok, and honestly, my toxic trait expected that at least one person will ask me how am I doing.
Nobody did, even my friends. I felt so left out and unsupported, that I simply assumed that I don’t have any people, who really care about me around.
Nevertheless, today I came back. I finished the problem set I was talking about, I am going to watch the next lecture right now, and will probably do some precalculus. I did expect to be a bit further right now, but I am still able to follow the deadlines I set at the beginning.
When you understand that people don’t care about how you handle what you are going through, you also understand that these people automatically assume that you are strong enough to manage it by yourself.
Well, let’s then believe them.
I let go of my expectations about the support and attention I wanted to get, and now stepping onto my path to success. Two weeks are behind, and a lot more are ahead!
I think it’s pretty cool to be disciplined enough to start investing your time in skills at my age. (*a little proud moment*)
Thank you for being here alongside me!
Sending love to y’all<3
Daria.
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My TikTok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFgpfSpU/
My Insta: https://instagram.com/pastuzooo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
